an ode to a new york summer
written: somewhere between 07-30-19 and 8-20-19
edited: venus day, may 27, 2022
An ode to a New York summer —
In the midst of the dewy summer night, the nasty heat of the subway melts into the cold sweat i conjured on my back from dancing the summer heat away. Legs tired, feet worn, skin warmed, and feeling true love around you. For what is the difference between knowing love and feeling love? For the first time you understood the feeling of your own love doubled down and focused on feeding you…
It’s the love of feeling loved by you—or rather I loved loving me and you showed me around
Oh, what it is to be loved by me
Oh, what it is to be loved
Oh what it is
to feel more (by feeding my senses with every thought, every action)
to think more (worried less)
to love more (because the more i knew how to love me, the more i knew how to love you)
to appreciate all (the dark, the light, the pretty, the ugly that have molded you into you, that have structured your thinking, that have sculpted your worldview, that have painted your kinks)
New York, you embraced me at my loneliest and showed me how to build worlds in my solitude, gently sculpting my own escape where I can freely delve into my darkest crevices, the deeper depths of self. And i found light.
I found warmth in the embrace of a “scary” city
In the midst of a gun blown world
I found love in the hearts of the strangers who strut
The gentle brush of sunshine from the working man who offers to pay for my bagel—whether in haste or admiration
The pressing warmth of an old man sharing his umbrella with me in the dirty city rain—simply of the convenience that we happened to be going in the same direction
(original journal entry, p.4, 2019)
I see my strength,
feel my strength,
manifest my strength
demand my strength
I feel powerful, protected and loved with every breath I draw.n
MY HEART IS OPEN to the world (even in pain)
My heart is open
OPEN…..
Open to
love
friendship
adventure
knowledge
solutions
In the greyed skies where stars barely peak through, but the moon stands round surrounded by shining buildings scraping the sky. The people dance like they weep. Dance through their loneliness, dance to closed hearts.
With Love,
Naya
